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When the Body Speaks, Listen

posted Jul 1, 2013, 5:54 AM by Suzette Vearnon   [ updated Jul 1, 2013, 5:54 AM ]
This morning I did something I don't normally do. Rather than roll over and grab my laptop first thing, I decided to spend some time with God.  I laid on my back and began to pray.  Before I got a full sentence out though the events of yesterday and the to do's of today interloped causing me to do more thinking than praying.   i recalled something I had heard about meditation and decided to breathe in and out from my abdomen, slowly, and to count the breaths.  This helped me to center.  When I got somewhere around 45 or 46 breaths, I became aware of pain in my sternum.  I started going down my checklist of what it could be.  It's heartburn was my first thought.  Then I started thinking about the spicy food and left overs from eating at a Mexican restaurant a couple of days ago.  I caught myself.  You really don't know what the source is, I was reminded.  I knew that I needed to open my mind and just feel the pain, its location, how deeply it was.

Recalling the encore of Oprah's interview with Gary Zukav, I was reminded of how we read into things instead of simply acknowledging them.  He talked about knowing yourself.  In his many books on the Soul, Gary talks about centers of the body that reveal alot about ourselves.  Being mindful of the tension or the pain in those centers is key.  Starting at my toes and working my way up, I checked the centers of my insides.  Toes, wiggling and no pain.   I remembered the way my third toe had stiffened the night before, so it was a huge relief that there was no stiffness.  As I breathed in and out and tried to do my internal diagnostic, the pain in my chest kept usurping.  Okay, I thought, let's feel and let's look closer. It's not a burning sensation but rather like something is lodged.  Like something is blocked.  

I recalled having that sensation before and calling EMS thinking it could be heart attack.  It wasn't as intense though.  I recalled that carrying stuff that was too heavy had caused this sensation in the past.  I decided to turn my Dr. Suzette mind off and just be with the pain.  I breathed in and out thinking let it happen, let it go, borrowing from Martha Beck's advice in her article on Endings.  The more I did it, I can't say the pain left.  It's still there.  It's deeply lodged in my chest.  I remembered that Gary Zukav had said that there is always a spiritual component to what we experience in our bodies.  Something is off, I thought.  So I began to say, "I surrender," as I continued to breathe slowly.  I tried to remember what his book said about what the different centers of the body represented but I couldn't remember a thing.  

I didn't know the answer.  But I did realize that my mind was not the place to seek it.  It was my heart.  It was my soul.  So, I defer to the Wise One, the Awakened One, the Greater One who knows all things.  He was the one who revealed that the burning throat and hoarseness I experienced last year was related to allergies not my pet answer of acid reflux.  In the same manner, there is the spiritual that knows what is fueling the pain we feel in our bodies. If we consult that Wise One, therein lies the answer.

As I go about my day, I will stay in mindfulness and allow Life to speak to me.  I will mindfully breathe deeply and keep an open posture before God. As my body speaks, I will listen.  I will continue to observe and check in throughout my day.

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