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The Spirit of My Desire

posted Nov 5, 2014, 11:11 AM by Suzette Vearnon   [ updated Mar 13, 2015, 8:55 AM ]
I had never contemplated that my desires make me feel alive until Day 2 of my new meditation challenge.  But aliveness is the true essence of life.  It is spiritual. 

My first introduction with desire wasn't a positive one however.  Folks blamed it for lustful thoughts, immoral acts and heartless temptations.  It was as if the scripture "whatever you desire when you pray" was not as important as desires that made you sin and that would send you to hell.  Having that type of introduction to desires, I believed made me think my desires were bad.

Life has taught me different.  I realize that a desire is like an emotion:  it's neither bad nor good.  It just is.  What has positive or negative consequences is how we respond to it.  Take a married man who desires a woman other than his wife.  He might tell his pastor or priest to pray for him that he get rid of this desire.  What a waste!  Desire is not the problem.    

Most people feel ashamed about what they desire and as a result they pretend that it doesn't exist or it isn't that important. This is what I believe fuels our suffering.  It's what gives desire a bad name.  

What if we didn't personify the desire?  
What if we didn't associate it with a person, a place or a thing?  
What if we regarded it simply as our soul letting us know that it is hungry?

When we are hungry for food, we don't feel ashamed or blame anybody for it. We don't toss and turn all night long or have long dramatic talks with our girlfriends about it.  We simply acknowledge it.  "I'm hungry," we say and we walk to the frig or drive to the nearest restaurant.  Desire is the very same.  It is Purpose communicating with the soul and the soul's response.  If we personify it or objectify it, we cheat ourselves of the power within us to satisfy it.  Asking ourselves what the desire wants from us would be more productive than trying to put sunglasses on a moth.

Life has also taught me that what you suppress gets worse.  If you don't believe it try going days without eating.  Those hunger pangs will drive you crazy. You'll become obsessed with it!  Likewise, a soul ignored hollers like a colicky baby!  Souls want satisfaction and will raise the volume on your desires to get it.  Hence, if your soul desires love, give it love.  A one-night stand is not love.  Scouring dating sites to get a date by Friday night is not love.  Settling for a man who takes more than he gives is not love.   

Hunger is perpetual.  That's another realization.  Eating once doesn't keep us from getting hungry throughout the day.  In the same way, our souls get hungry for more.  As it receives signals from Purpose, it communicates desire.  It doesn't mean that you've done something wrong, or you didn't eat enough the first time, no more than hunger pangs do.  It only means you desire something more.  It's up to you to figure out what will satisfy your desire.  Going back to the example of the married man.  The attractive woman is only an object.  She is not the answer.  Sure, she might be a painkiller but she will not give him what he truly desires.  Besides, you can't live off painkillers.  At some point you gotta eat!