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The Sound of My Bravery

posted May 25, 2013, 9:11 AM by Suzette Vearnon   [ updated May 25, 2013, 9:28 AM ]
Today, I listened to A Minute With Maxwell's video about Bravery.  It allowed me to reflect on my own life and this was my comment:

It takes bravery to leave the familiar to go after your dreams, Mr. Maxwell. Our big dreams take faith. I didn't doubt God's existence and ability to do the impossible, the sticking point was if he'd do it for me. Just me. With my back against the wall and my faith under siege, Life brought me to the point where I had to know that I was enough for God to esteem me. I was searching for fulfillment. Real fulfillment. The kind that makes you beam with joy from the inside. "God, I have to know something," I said. "I have to know that you'd move Heaven and Earth for me." Well, that was "the summer of my discontent" just last year. I stand here today abiding in a state where God has brought the Wow factor to every day of my life. He liberated me from working a job I hated. He healed my broken heart over the death of my loved one. I am not 100% working for myself and have more money in my account on a sustained basis than I've ever had consistently in all my 53 years. I needed to know how much he esteemed me and His outpouring on my life is nothing short of AMAZING. Like Peter, I've been summoned out of the boat and we are walking on water together.

For many of us, it is not a question of whether we believe in God. The question is whether we believe God believes in us.  Are we enough?  Are we enough for him to support our dreams?  Are we enough that he would enable us, guide us and most of all, throw the weight of his support in our direction.  I'm so grateful that at a point where I was tired of trying to act brave and just got down to the real troubling question that had nipped at my heels throughout most of my adult life, He showed up for me.  It was do-or-die conversation with God, the hard conversation where everything was on the line.   

His response was not immediate.  In fact, he didn't answer my question with words.  He enlisted me in a journey of discovery.  An adventure.  He became my partner as my prayers were met with inklings about things, unctions to do this or to do that, opportunities and strategies to navigate my way to where I was suppose to be.  I didn't know what fulfillment looked like.  All I knew was I couldn't live without it.  He was the teacher.  I was the student.  The course was a lesson in Divine Strategy.  Under his inspiration and tutelage, I went from distraught and in need to owning my own businesses and 100% working for myself. I'm no longer chasing money.  It is chasing me.  Doors are opening that I had not even dreamed would be extended to me.  

It wasn't an easy journey. It still isn't. I have flashbacks from time to time.  There were nights that seemed like they'd never end.  There were bumpy roads where I'd trip and fall down, reaching up for a hand I couldn't see.  I'd have to limp with a skinned knee at his beckoning.  I had to keep moving.   He was leading.  He was taking me somewhere I had never been.  It was lonely.   It was scary.   I felt displaced because all I saw was darkness and lack in that dark corridor that we walked through.  I didn't know when I was going to come out. It was taking so long and I didn't know where I'd end up. But He was leading.  He was taking me somewhere I had never been.  

Sometimes bravery isn't just dreaming or printing your business cards, but having the real conversations with God.  Being vulnerable.   Letting it all out in His presence.  And letting Him lead the way.  It's a scary thing because it puts your faith on the line.  But it's a conversation He's waiting to have with all of us. I won't tell you it will be easy, but I will tell you that it will be oh so worth it!