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Reckless on Purpose

posted Dec 16, 2014, 1:29 PM by Suzette Vearnon   [ updated Apr 12, 2015, 10:15 AM ]
Today, I jumped up and down in disbelief as a 20 year old college student decided against taking the money on Let's Make A Deal. Like her mother, I was screaming, "Take the money," as she stood there pondering what decision to make.  "I'm gonna go for it," she said.  Reckless college student, I thought to myself.  One by one, she picked a piggy bank hoping for money.  The first piggy bank she selected was a Zonk.  Not good, I thought yet she continued.  She reached $1000, her mother motioned, "Keep going!"  She kept picking, first one then another, finding dollars in each piggy bank.  When she got to $2000, her mother gave her the "stop" signal.  She was about to say no but told Wayne Brady that she wanted to keep going. Her mother grabbed her head half standing up and half sitting down.  Her daughter got to $5000.  By this time, the audience was shouting, "Keep the money!"  Wayne, looking at the worry in her mother's eyes, walked up to the top row where she sat.  "What do you think, mom?" he asked.  "I want her to stop but I believe in her.  And because of that, I say, 'Go gurl, I believe in you.' "

There were only two piggy banks left:  one with the final Zonk and one with the money.  The tension mounted as she tried to figure out which to pick.  This time, she looked at the audience, screamed and shouted "Number two!"  Everyone waited.  A collective hush as Jonathan positioned his mallet to crack open the second piggy bank.  As he swung down, he let the mallet slip from him hands.  Ahhhhhhh!  The music cued up again, everyone was on the edge of their seats with eyes pealed on the piggy bank.  My eyes got wider and wider as I waited.  Would this prove to be intuition or a reckless clueless college student with no idea how hard $5000 is to come by?

Isn't that how life is?  You are presented with moments where there are two options:  to go for it or to cut your losses and walk away.  How do you know which is the right decision?  Is rightness determined by outcome?  If the college student won the $20,000 did she make the right decision?  If the college student lost everything did she make the wrong decision?  

I remember when my son made a decision as a Freshman in college that left me grabbing my head like the mother of the 20 year old.  "He's got to be crazy!" I thought and uttered a few choice words that my mother would not have approved of.  I was so angry!  Even when we talked about it 3 years later, I felt that same intense disapproval.  He was willing to jeopardize his tuition and for what?  Something that could have waited.  

I don't know what has happened since that time but I am having to reconsider my thinking about it.  I actually think I owe him an apology.  Who am I to judge what's right for him?  I am his mother, true; but I'm not his Creator.  That was something that in my haste I didn't consider.  Maybe he didn't choose the decision, the decision chose him and he had to say yes.  

As I reflect back, I know that it was neither right nor wrong, it was purposed.  Purposed is the road you must travel.  Purposed is the path you must take.  It isn't about the outcome, the destination, the goal or the end; it's all about answering the call. Had he not answered that call, he wouldn't have discovered his strength, his resourcefulness, resilience and power that were there just waiting to be revealed.  He wouldn't have known the power of his own voice or his own gifts.  

Though I felt it was the worst decision, I have to admit that the Universe came to his aid.  Ways were made.  Money was provided.  Opportunity after opportunity revealed itself even when it looked like all hope was lost.  And get this, neither his dad nor I came to the rescue.  It happened because of him.  To us, the goal was for him to finish and graduate.  To Something Greater, the goal was much more.  He gained the confidence to fight his own battles and to win. If he learned to stand on his own two feet, I'd have to say that was the best decision.  He learned he could trust himself.  That no matter what life presents, inside of him is the ability to rise above it.  What I felt was reckless ended up being purposeful.  

As for the 20 year old college student, she won $20,000!