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posted Sep 7, 2014, 7:26 AM by Suzette Vearnon   [ updated Mar 13, 2015, 8:58 AM ]
If you are faithful over a few things, I'll make you ruler over much.  

This passage means so much more to me now than it did when I first heard it.  It was the first thing I thought, matter of fact, while talking to a dear friend and colleague about an ending and a new beginning.  Like most of us, she had sensed the end was near.  Nevertheless, I could hear the sense of loss in her voice. She tried to divert it by talking about who did what and how it wasn't right.  How the actions of the perpetrators was unscrupulous. What if it wasn't unscrupulous at all?  What if she was the true perpetrator?    

Time for a Promotion 

What if what happened was the last button on her shirt had popped or it was time to stop trying to squeeze into those tight jeans?  Liz from the book Eat Pray Love said it best in response to her friend's hesitation that enjoying a pleasurable meal meant the notorious muffin top or worst not being able to fit in her jeans.  "Just get bigger jeans."  

That's life.  A promotion requires that we leave.  Sometimes, we have time to write a letter of resignation or give a two-week notice.  Other times, we don't.  Sometimes that last button has popped or those jeans have split and you got to spend money on a bigger size--quick, fast and in a hurry!  

I remember when I heard the call of promotion.  It required that I leave my then marriage of 5 plus years.  I remember folks asking me if I had done all I could to make it work.  To me, it was a silly question.  For though they were just getting the news, every day I rationalized, justified, agonized, subsidized and every other -ized staying in my marriage, I was working to save it.  Every time I chose denial because I just wasn't ready to face the consequences that would most assuredly follow, I was working to save it.  Every time I prayed, fasted and declared that the devil was not going to claim my marriage, I was working to save it  Every day I stayed so that my son would not suffer the loss of family and security, I was working to save it.  Every time I suggested a date night, we see a counselor, told him I loved him, supported his dream, took his complaints to heart and took a shower so my odor wouldn't offend him, I was working to save it.  But when you wake up one day and realize you are giving your soul away every single day that you allow emotional abuse and neglect, you have to surrender.  Despite what folks tend to believe, marriage takes two.  It is a partnership.  Your spouse is not the parent and you're the obedient child or the employer and you're the employee.  It is a partnership.  It is an agreement of two where both parties invest in making it work.   If there is no agreement of two, there is no partnership.    

As my friend shared the days and moments before the end, she said something that always signals promotion.  She said, "I no longer have the energy to fight."  That's it, I thought as I heard her.  When you no longer have energy to fight to stay where you are, that's when you are ready for promotion.  

Hers like mine was a costly exit.  Mine meant the loss of life as I knew it.  I lost money.  I lost my home.  I lost my status.  I lost my security.  I lost friends.  But most of all I lost what I had wanted for as long as I can remember, my marriage.  In a moment of clarity where I was standing in my most authentic of lights, I suffered overwhelming loss.  So it seemed.  Little did I know that I had experienced overwhelming promotion.  

When your eyes come open to what you want and what you don't want, you have been enlisted for promotion.  

Sure, we rejoice in promotion!  Someone tells you they got a promotion and we send a barrage of congratulations.  Makes you wonder why we don't weep and send out heartfelt condolences!  Promotions are never easy!  It's never easy to learn a new job.  It's never easy to start your own business.  Most times, the first year of marriage is brutal!  A new baby?  Let me just say there's a reason I stopped at one, okay???  Promotion is hard.  It is not for the faint of heart either.  I have cried many a night trying to adjust to a promotion.  It's a new space with a new expectation.  It makes you feel like you're having to unlearn what you knew and take on a whole new set of rules.  If you worked under a supervisor, now you have to learn to supervise.  If you've worked for someone else your whole life, now you have to learn to be the boss.  If you lived in a house that someone else built, you have to learn to build.  It's not easy.  

Oh, but the rewards!  

If you can just hang in there through the pangs of transition, if you can disconnect from the old and give yourself fully to the new, Life will invite you to a new adventure.  You'll discover things about yourself, good things, that you didn't know.  You'll find out where your power truly lies.  Most of all, Life will show you what prompted the promotion in the first place.  You can be trusted with more.