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No More Chasin Fools Gold

posted Sep 28, 2015, 5:19 AM by Suzette Vearnon   [ updated Sep 28, 2015, 5:19 AM ]
T.D. Jakes wrote a book, Can You Stand To Be Blessed. Y'all remember it. When I heard the call to bring hope to single women who were movers and shakers in their own right yet struggling in their relationships, I had no idea what I was stepping into. I now understand why I struggled so in my relationships. Just about every feeling and experience from church girl scared to even kiss a man to post-marriage desperation for someone to validate me so bad that I passed go, refused to collect my $200 and went directly to emotional prison in handcuffs time and time again. Yet, as I type this, I now understand every...single...thing I have been through. It was so I could come back and tell you that you don't have to suffer for love and you don't have to suffer because of past "love's." You don't have to stay stuck. You don't have to be paralyzed. You don't have to be afraid of love. Love is GOOD. Love is worth doing the work. Trust me. What I thought was love in hindsight really wasn't. It was need parading as love. It was childhood feelings of abandonment that morphed into adult fear of intimacy. The desperate need and the premature clinging had nothing to do with Love. But because of songs like "Love Stop Making a Fool of Me" and the pathology of powerlessness modeled around me, I too blamed love for running after, falling prey to, or staying with folks who had nothing to give but a regurgitation of their own pathology. Now that I am experiencing real love, no more chasing fool's goal, Jill Scott. Though I love you, your style and your music, I couldn't keep doing that. And I'm here to help as many of you who are truly ready to stop the insanity.