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Just 7 more days

posted Mar 29, 2013, 11:55 AM by Suzette Vearnon   [ updated Mar 29, 2013, 12:03 PM ]
Who do you like most?  What was your favorite interviewee or interviewer?  What draws you to people?   Someone once said that you won't remember what a person did, you'll remember how they made you feel.  We are drawn to genuine people.  From celebrities to the lady standing in line at the grocery store, if people feel that how you treat them is real, they are drawn to you.  As I was writing my book, The Sound of My Life, my response to any edit, any packaging, any marketing was, "It's got to be authentic."  I believe that the greatest gift I can give to my readers or anyone I come in contact with.

It's so easy for people with a dream of entrepreneurship or ownership of any kind to forget this.  One of the reasons I stopped being an independent beauty consultant midstream is because I went from loving people on their own merit to surmising whether they could be my recruit.  It wasn't because of the product that I was selling, it was about me.  I say that because the person who recruited me was and still is one of the most genuine, loving, exciting people I've ever known.  And it's not a surprise that she was at the top of her game - loving every single step.  That was her vehicle for her gift of empowering others.  It wasn't mine.  Maybe that's why I made the decision to exit.  

Writing this book is my vehicle.  It feels right.  It feels real.  Every word is honest and truthful, yet there is such grace to the story.  Here I must clarify that being real is not the same as being brutally honest.  It's a different energy.  Realness liberates.  It originates in love while anything brutal, in my opinion, comes from arrogance.   I can be firm without being brutal.  I can give my opinion without rejecting the value of your opinion.  While I cannot control how another person takes my realness, I can certainly check in with my Inner Consciousness from which true realness emanates. 

In my book, I talk about my struggles with codependency and being an accomodater.  I also share how I've learned to give a gracious "no," and how it is a gift to the hearer.  Don't expect them to think so or to respect that your no comes from a loving place.  They will deal with their own feelings about it.  That, you cannot control.  You have to let people process in their own way.  Truth be told, most of us disregard our boundaries seduced by the hope that by doing so, the object of our affection will see us more fondly.   That's sad because we teach people how to treat us.   

Protecting our boundaries is a sign of maturity and healthy self love.  It's critical to our self esteem.  The more we choose to love ourselves, the more our value goes up in our eyes.  After all, isn't that who we are really trying to prove something to?  When we stand for ourselves, we tell the world that we are important.  Standing is not a license to fuss and fight.  It's meaningless if we aren't hearing each other.  It serves no purpose but to declare a winner in the who's right and who's wrong contest.  I can settle that right now.  Both are right and both are wrong.  

Rightness and wrongness is purely subjective.  So it doesn't matter to anyone but the person arguing.   Another person has the right to reject my truth, my opinion or my explanation.  I can live with that.  What I cannot live with is abandoning myself.  I gotta stand in my authentic light.  It's not about right and wrong, it's about Purpose. Nothing is more important than that.