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It's Not About Me

posted Sep 9, 2014, 8:00 AM by Suzette Vearnon   [ updated Mar 13, 2015, 8:57 AM ]
Today was an unusual awakening.  My body immediately connected with the stillness and I felt myself go into meditation without even cutting on my music or having a steady melodic voice to guide me.  I began to focus on all that I am grateful for and just started saying "thank you."  There were moments of absence of thought.  Now, for me, that's almost nonexistent. Either I'm being guided into meditation or I am focusing on a mantra so my thoughts don't run away with me!  

I can't tell you the how's, the when's or even what happened, but a greater understanding of who I am and why I am here welled from inside of me. Like a light being cut on, I understood with new clarity this one thing:  It's about the work.  It is not about me.  

There's nothing like a heaping helping of truth to bring perspective to your life.  I really don't think I truly understood purpose to this level.  I was doing purpose, but my intentions were being hijacked by me, me, me.  What about me?  What's in this for me?  I always needed some type of validation or recognition.  Is this good enough? my insecurity would whisper.  What if it isn't?  

It is so important not to become so consumed with doing purpose that we forget that we are to serve our purpose.  Our purpose isn't about giving us a project, proving that we are better than the next or making us rich.  It's about something so much bigger.  

With this heightened understanding, I found myself retracing my evolution.  I've been a student and a coach since I was preschool age.  I didn't know it then.  There was no label, simply excitement.  I recall being so excited about learning to read that I enlisted my little sister.  I would sit her down with my dolls and stuffed animals in front of the chalkboard and teach her like my teacher did.  It was the same when I discovered that I could play the piano by ear.  I had to share it with my little sister.  I figured if I could do it, certainly she could do it too.  Her lack of enthusiasm didn't deter me a bit.  I was convinced and she had to know that the same thing inside of me was inside of her too.     

At the time, I had no thought about how it would be perceived or how the other person even felt.  I had no concept of failure.  I never considered that what I was inspired to do wasn't the same for my sister.  I figured that all I had to do was show her that it was there.  If it was in me, it was in her.  My motivation wasn't driven by my ego or lack or fear. I didn't need to prove something.  I was inspired and I had to share it.  I had discovered something and I had to share it.       

So what has my evolution been about?  I believe it has been to teach me compassion. The work means nothing without love. Every life experience has come to teach me regard for myself, for my message and for others.  As a child, I had no concept.  

Until we resolve that the work is not about us - it's bigger than us - and see it through the eyes of humility, we will invariably assign it a different task.  Like a parent who lives vicariously through their child, we will obligate our purpose with a responsibility it's not suppose to have.  As I have written about in previous blog posts, I have been concerned about book sales and the growth of my businesses.  That has been my focus.  Looking through the eyes of humility though, I see that my books are not to serve me, they are to serve something greater.  My coaching is not to serve me, it is to serve something greater.  They are vehicles to awaken others.  I am simply the messenger.  The work of the Universe is to support the work. To ensure that the message gets out to all who are to hear it.    

Why are some folks rich and some folks poor?  Why are some folks Black and some folks White?  Why?  I won't give a cookie cutter answer as I don't know the intention behind that.  I do believe with all my heart that there is a purpose for it.   There is a purpose for those who get out of the projects and for those who don't.  Everything is a teacher.  Everything is purposeful. Why did I marry who I married?  Why did the marriage end in divorce?  Why did I grow up in church?  Why did I have to leave its traditions? Why do I live where I live?  Why has my life taken on this trajectory?  I can't tell you exactly why.  I know there is a purpose.  It all works together to be a teacher for some, an answer for others and something else entirely for somebody else.  It is all purposeful.  

There is a Higher Consciousness at work who has purposed it so.  He or She or It has been grooming me for this moment. And as I write today, I am even more aware that none of this is about me.  Oh what humility, gratitude, and sacredness is flooding me right now.  

This is what "the sound" in my books is all about.  This is what hearing the sound of your own voice is about. This is what pursuing your dreams is about.   It's not for you.  Or as Iyanla Vanzant puts it, "It's not about you, Boo."  It's to serve what you have been purposed for:  To illuminate, to awaken, to liberate, to affirm, to heal, to celebrate the fact that we are free. We have been enlisted to spread the word of freedom!  We are to take this message that we are accepted in the beloved. We are redeemed.  We are okay as we are.  No fear.  No shame.  No guilt.  There is an eternal pardon and our case has been thrown out of court.  We can eat freely of the Tree of Life and enjoy the liberation we've been bestowed.  We don't have to apologize for it.  We don't have to be shame-faced about it.  We can take this message to our children.  We can take this message to anyone who is waiting to hear it.  

"Lift up your heads oh ye gates and be ye lifted up ye everlasting doors.  And the King of Glory shall come in!!!"

That my friends is the good news!