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I Am Peace

posted Aug 13, 2014, 8:29 AM by Suzette Vearnon   [ updated Aug 13, 2014, 8:29 AM ]
When you embody peace, it shows up whenever and wherever you are.  Today's centering thought is I am Peace.  When I am not peaceful or don't allow the truth of who I am to enter, there will invariably be chaos.  Whether it's anxiety over a meeting or striving to complete a project in time, if I allow myself to center on the truth of who I am - I am peace - everything will have to submit to it.  Bad feelings have to submit to peace.  Insecurities have to submit to peace.  Fear has to submit to peace. 

Today is Day 3 of my 21-Day Meditation.  Normally, I lie down when I meditate.  Today, I sat up.  Although I couldn't lower my legs completely, I could still cross them at the ankles and settle my elbows on the top of my knees. This was my meditative posture today.  With my eyes closed, I heard the oscillating fan on my bedroom floor kind of creating a call and response.  I found it calming and affirming of the peace that surrounded me.

I use to think that I needed complete quiet to be at peace.  College changed that.  There was always noise.  Even if my roommate was asleep while I studied, the walls were thin.  Sounds from adjoining rooms and laughter that filled the halls outside disrupted the peace and quiet that I longed for.  I had to adapt else flunk out of school.  My parents weren't having that!

Perhaps there is some wisdom in that.  Peace is not the absence of sound.  Noise is a constant.  The shuffle of covers as you turn from one side to the other, the roar of cars passing and the bark of dogs are all part of nighttime chatter.  The only time it bothers you is when you can't sleep.  When you're at peace, it's the noise of aliveness.  Invariably, there has to be an inner space that one can enter such that the oscillation of life does not disrupt.  I call it my peace space.     

It's not denial.  It's a place of calm assurance.  Denial was when I'd go to church thinking I could find peace in the activity of worship.  Operative word, activity.  I thought that I could sing my way, shout my way, beg my way or confess my way into an altered state or an transcendent mindset.  Though doing all of that worked for some -or at least appeared to - when I got alone, it wasn't long before what was bothering me was back with a vengeance.  Add to it, the humiliation of feeling like I failed God.  

I have found that peace is not the activity of worship.  It is the essence of worship.  When I enter that peace space, I can look what is intimidating me right in the eye.  I gain a courage that refuses to run.  I walk right up to my agitant with the calm assurance that no matter what, I will be okay.  My spirit owns it.  My soul swells with it.  It no longer is a mantra or something way out there.  It is settled to the point that it everything inside of me calms in response to it.  That is the peace that passeth all understanding.   

With today's meditation, I am reminded of that peace.  As I continue to practice yoga and meditation, I am discovering the digits to its access code.  It is a presence that I can enter at any time I want even without soothing music playing, Deepak's voice guiding or the absence of life's noise.  It is a stillness of Me in me.