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Grace to Stay the Course

posted Dec 8, 2013, 1:59 PM by Suzette Vearnon   [ updated Dec 8, 2013, 2:29 PM ]
Last night, my friend and sister-in-purpose asked us what we wanted for our businesses in 2014.  Rambling as I often do when I'm trying to unlayer to get to the core answer, I admitted that 2013 has been like learning how to surf.  Trying to find and maintain my balance while riding the big wave of building businesses that I call "monetized side hustles" has been quite a course.  When you've worked for someone else for most of your life, the first icy fingers to tap you on the shoulder is the familiar.  "You'll have benefits if you take the job," it whispers and adds, "you know you aren't getting any younger." That's when you have to honker down and get a stronger hold on what you know. 
While continuing to unlayer, I hit the core of what I want in 2014.  "I want to co-create with God an inspired life.  I want to wake up every single morning inspired and go to bed every single night inspired.  
It sounds great to say.  It sounds clear and it sounds powerful.  The living of it, however, takes a resolve that goes much deeper than a catchy saying.  The residue of Tracy's simple though poignant question continues to roll over in my mind.  I listened to Oprah's interview with the CEO of Starbucks, Howard Schultz, and every word of that interview added an ingredient to what Life is stirring in the bowl called my life.  I find myself evaluating 2013.  Of all that I've done, what was real.  My life's pursuit is authenticity.  Folks that know me, know that.  Though I've strived for authenticity, there were decisions that weren't.  I might have made it look easy, but it is not.  It's a painstaking process to identify what was of faith and what was of ego.  The struggles between wanting to get paid and foregoing it in the immediate to build something lasting in the long-term were sometimes brutal.  The overachiever in me would glare at my efforts and taunt me with words like, "You aren't doing enough."  Sometimes it took all my energy to keep my ego in check so that my authenticity could prevail.  For some people, that means discontinuing what isn't working.  But for others, it means to keep doing what you're doing regardless. 
A spiritual leader said about the Law of Attraction, "you can't harvest what you haven't planted."  He didn't use these exact words, but I paraphrase it in the way that I understood it. Sometimes we want to fast forward to wealth and we haven't invested anything of ourselves into it.  We've hopped around from this to that with no real stick-to-itness.  We've defected to whatever caught our attention in the moment.  As a result, we've watered everybody else's garden but left ours unattended.  When we look at our garden, overrun with weeds or insects, we then complain to God and beg him for a quick solution.   Perhaps, Life is trying to teach us what all good farmers know.  A good crop requires attention every single day. A crop does not miraculously show up fully grown.  Sure, I believe in miracles where God does override the laws He's put into place to give you something.  I can't tell you why, if or when He chooses to do this.  That is completely and totally His call.  What I can tell you is it wouldn't be called a miracle if it was normal.
I'm going to say something that might seem a bit hard to hear.  It's true nonetheless.  Only children beg for what they haven't worked for.  Grown-ups understand the power of work.  So does the Law of Attraction.  We've somehow convinced ourselves that the Law of Attraction is a shazam moment.  It's not.  It is like attracting like.  It is what's honest about you attracting itself.    
In 2014, my prayer is not for a shazam.  If God chooses to give me a miraculous harvest, it's totally and completely up to Him.  Though I am not above asking God to help my book to sell or to send me more coaching clients, this time however my prayer is for grace to stay the course. 
Oh for grace to stay the course!  To stay the course through learning to be self-employed.  To stay the course through mistakes in judgment.  To stay the course through see-nothing days.  To stay the course of sowing and nurturing what hasn't appeared yet.  To stay the course when things beyond my control threaten the viability of my crop.  To not bury what I'm suppose to invest.  To be moved by the vision God has given me of who He is even when it seems absolutely ludicrous to those around me.  To be just as gracious a receiver as I am a giver.  To choose vulnerability over ego.  These aren't resolutions; they are intentions grounded in authenticity that are stirring inside of me as December continues to fold and the New Year begins to unfold.  
To stay true to the vision God has given me of who He is lies at the core of the stirring.  My vision of the practicality of who I am in this Earth is ever-unfolding.  When God chooses to step from behind the curtain and speak is big stuff. 
Have you ever noticed that His name has not changed.  He is still I am.  I knew from a conceptual standpoint but not from an experiential one. Case and point. I had heard that God was a healer.  From the time I can remember until now, I've heard believers say, "He's a healer."  Despite this, I didn't quite know what to make of it.  There were some who claimed to have been healed by Him that were still alive.  Paradoxically, there were others who claimed to be healed and they died.  It felt like Life had brought me to a place of my beliefs about healing being held at gunpoint.  The gun was cocked against my head as Life was bullying me for an answer.  You see, when you're the one who needs healing, you can no longer be okay with ambiguity. 
"I am the Healer," He said.  "Why wouldn't you ask me for healing?"  The profoundness of that moment is something that I am just comprehending right now.  My concern over the precipitating event that brought me to this place weighed so heavily that I didn't truly get the depth of what He said.  I think we as a community of faith have become so accustomed to less than Divine Healing, that we've decided not to expect it.  God knew exactly what was at stake.  I've heard folks refer to death as the ultimate healing.  That wasn't enough for me.  I've heard folks talk about the advances in medicine.  That wasn't enough for me.  This pivotal event required more.  I needed a revelation of God from God Himself. 
In the Bible, Jesus never referred to death as the ultimate healing.  He never left someone half healed.  He never left anyone lacking.  If He healed, He did it all the way.  In short, He didn't do a half ass job.  Excuse my French, but I'm being very raw and very real.  Folks were healed to the point that everyone knew it.  Blind eyes saw.  Deaf ears heard.  Lame men walked.  Tormented minds freed.  He is the Healer.  I don't have to accept less.  I don't have to make up an excuse that gives Him a pass.  I can stand and look Him in the eye and say "Heal."  Heal as the Big God that you are.  Heal as the God who told me at a young age not to put Him in a box. 
Someone told me that I shouldn't put an expectation to it.  I strongly differ.  Certainly, there were variations in the how of it.  Sometimes Jesus laid hands.  Other times He spoke.  In one instance, He even told a group of lepers to go show themselves to the priest.  As they went, they noticed that they were healed.  No matter what way, healing was complete.  It was undeniable.  That's the weight of what He said to me.  Just as I couldn't let Him off the hook when I was at a point in my life when I had to know why I was here, I can't accept anything less than the Healer, big H.  Not because I went into it with this in mind. Rather, because He said who He was.   
That is the sound of my 2014.  I don't know how He will manifest in 2014, but I don't want to accept anything less than who He says He is.  No passes.  No excuses.